Confession, question, not really sure....

Louie's talk talks about satisfaction (which is actually the title of the talk) and it got me thinking about my own life in a lot of different areas. Why don't I find my total satisfaction in Christ? Now, before some of you go off the theological deep end and are in this moment salivating by that question because you have "the answer", I'll save you some time, I know the theological answer and I think everyone else does too (Fallen man, in a fallen world, blah, blah, blah).

So, more specifically, why do I feel that I'm a "bother" to God when I am in need or have a decision to make? Why do I feel like I can go to the Almighty with an attitude of "Don't worry about me on this one, I've got it. There are people that need You more than I do." As if I've arrived in some place with my walk with Christ and I don't need Him on everything anymore, but rather, just the hard stuff. As if I've got even part of this Christian life "down" or something.

This is something that has been rattling around in my head for a while now. I know it's an issue of not recognizing my depravity (big word for my eternal need for a Savior because of my fallen state) and pride.

Have you ever been in that moment when the light bulb clicks? For example, you're having a discussion about God and the Scriptures and the Spirit allows you to see something that you've never seen before? It's a moment of being so satisfied in our Savior that we need, a moment that he illuminates something about Himself. It's a moment where you say TISC (This Is So Cool, props to Susannah May for this one!) or maybe you just say nothing because you are in awe of Him. Why can't I just live my life in those moments?

There is nothing more satisfying than the Almighty. Why can't I remember that? Why can't I stay in that? Why can't (even in the "easy" moments/decisions) I desire to share and to lean on Him that is most glorious? HHmmmmmmmmmm.......